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Tarryn Myburgh

It takes noble strength to receive something

Updated: Aug 30, 2019

I walked into the supermarket recently to buy a mandarin. As I walked around to find the fruit stand filled with luscious orange fruit, it dawned on me… which mandarin would I choose?

I stared at them all, man handling them to find the best one.


Here’s the thing. The most juiciest. Tasty. Delicious mandarin. It’s often the ugliest looking one. Wrinkled skin. Bumps, bruises and all. 


So why am I telling you about this? Well that’s the thing. Often the surface doesn’t tell the whole tale. In fact, no matter what you call it, old can be new and used can revamped.

 

Second hand, hand-me-down, donated, old… actually its just something that’s preloved!


We’ve always been taught that it is better to give than to receive. This is not actually the case. Receiving is equally important. After all someone has to receive the item everyone is giving away. It’s always nice to see a grateful receiver. 


When someone gives you something, it’s a good time to let your mind be quiet and just focus on receiving.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Being the recipient of a kind word or a gesture can trigger a true sense of vulnerability. It takes strength to be vulnerable. Therefore it takes strength to receive. We need to practice receiving. Being grateful. Letting others in.


It takes strength to receive something.

Kid playing with toy boxes
Kid playing with toy boxes

Seeing what others need to be happy requires empathy and kindness. But receiving is an equally noble endeavour.

We strive to love, but do we allow ourselves to be loved?

When someone cares for us deeply, how far will we let them in?

Can we allow someone to give us a gift without feeling we need to return the favour.


Here’s the thing. We need to be able to honour the giver - make them feel significant, important and feel valued for the difference they’ve made in our life. But we also need to honour the receiver.


Have you ever thought about why you feel the need to reciprocate? When someone walks past us and compliments us, we feel happy for a split second, before feeling awkward or guilty for not reciprocating. We become imprisoned in our own heads. Feeling like we now owe that someone a favour. Perhaps you feel like you don’t deserve it. That’s when the doubt sinks in. We don’t absorb the kindness. Instead we create endless considerations. 


What we should be doing, is being grateful to receive such kindness. It’s awesome to be noticed and appreciated. It’s awesome to be given something. It’s truly admiral to be awesome. Accept and appreciate. Acknowledge and own the generosity. 


You have the ability to teach your children from a young age, the importance of gratitude.

Kids smiling and holding each other outside
Kids enjoying each others company

Receiving and giving. Two very noble deeds. Deeds that can actually be taught at a young age. We teach our kids to want more and more. No wonder families are struggling with finances. Children have fresh minds and opportunities to really grow. They can learn the true value of money for when they grow up. 


The day my daughter came home and told me what she told her friend brought the biggest smile on my face. She told her friend at school yesterday about taking her old school uniform to the charity shop, instead of putting it in the bin. I was so proud of her way of thinking.


Would you give a second hand toy as a present to another child?


Have you ever thought about why we call it hand-me-down. Secondhand. Old. We no longer look at the quality, condition or value of the product. We simply notice that it is not new.

What we forget, is that toys are often just out grown, in great condition. Often they are hardly used. Too many toys goes to waste.


My kids are grateful to what they have been given. Whether it's new or second hand. They see things as gifts. Opportunities to have something new to play with. No matter who's played with it before. We swap toys in our family. This way everyone can experience different toys and the family gets to practice great recycling and gratitude practices



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